MeiFon

What is love? Can we
love someone if we forced ourselves to do so?  Why is there a need to hear your loved one’s
voice everyday?  Why a relationship isn’t
only a matter between two people?  Why is
it that other people are so curious to know about a relationship, poking their
noses around and when the couple breaks up, they gossip and take side?  It’s not like it is their business, right? Why is it so hard to say ‘I love you’ to
people around me?

Why is it love can be so deep, for some, love is so shallow?
 How to be able to love deeply?  How to know that he is the one? Why can’t we only have physical contacts
after marriage?  Does physical appearance
really matter when we are in love?  Do we
need courage to love? Why can’t the
person that we loved, love us back?  Does
love grow as time passes or it simply becomes a routine?  It only takes a day to love someone but why do
we take a lifetime to forget someone?

How to be happy to be in love? Why is it that people can be so irrational
sometimes when they are in love?  Whey does
love hurts and sometimes ends with a tear? Why is it nowadays, people fall in love at such a young age?  Are they truly in love or are they lost/lonely
or are they seeking popularity?  Why sometimes
in love, there are so many mistrusts? Can
we love two guys at the same time?  Is it
possible to love another guy deeper when you already have one in your life?  

What is love?

I thought my holiday will be filled with watching tv or movies.  I was wrong.  I read books.

I never thought reading quality and best-sellers story books could be so exciting and entertaining.  I felt like discovering a new world, like a kid just discovered how fun it was to watch tv. 

In these few weeks, I read lots of exciting story books. 

My first ebook was Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.  I love the plot tremendously.  It’s full of suspense – Vertican City to be blown up, jumping down from a helicopter, a big explosion in the air and the shocking truth at the end of the story.  This book is definitely, I repeat definitely better than The Da Vinci Code (DVC).  DVC contains lots of amazing and so-called-the-truth-of-the-Bible facts but not much actions and suspense compare to Angels and Demons (AD).  I started to wish that it is AD that is made into a movie, not DVC.  It will certainly be a blast.  The other two books by Dan Brown, Deception Point and Digital Fortress are equally interesting although not as interesting as the Robert Langdon series.  However, the more I read Dan Brown’s books, I felt his books a bit bored.  The style of writing for all the books is almost the same, that is the one that you less suspected is the true mastermind behind all the crimes (like Agatha Christie’s books).  In AD and DVC, the beginning plot is almost the same. Robert Langdon woke up in the middle of the night due to the ringing of the telephone, ignored it the first time, saw the picture, got all excited, went to some amazing places etc etc… I felt cheated.. I hope Dan Brown can create a different beginning plot for his third series of Robert Langdon adventure or I will acclaimed that he is not a very creative author after all.

And I discovered Sidney Sheldon as well.  I just finished reading If Tomorrow Comes and I can imagine how horrible it was to live in a prison.  And I laughed out loud when I read about the characters’ playing trick to the rich people using their clever minds.  One word to describe…JOY.  I had also finished reading three of his books, The Sky Is Falling, Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and Tell Me Your Dreams.  All books are very entertaining but If Tomorrow Comes is the best…

TV shows, VCD, TVB and anime come second nowadays.  I learn so much through books which I can’t learn by watching the tv or the computer.  Now, I’m reading Mitch Albom’s Tuesday With Morrie.  I had reread The Five People You Meet In Heaven lots of time.  I have 20+ Robin Cook’s enovels which I plan to read in the future.  I can’t wait to finish them all.

At the age of 20, I discovered the joy of reading.

A few months ago, my grandma passed away.  One of my friends helped a lot.  She borrowed a motorbike and sent me to the
terminal bus.  And she cried a lot harder
for my loss than I am.

15 Nov 2005. She sent
a message to me.  Her grandma had passed
away. My first thought was to call her
but I refrained myself, thinking that she needed time to be alone and time to
reunite with her family and relatives.

Today, I call her. We
talked about her worries, her condition and then we went on talking about how her
life has been.  She can barely choke out
the words when we talked about her grandma.  They were supposed to have a family reunion at
the kampong in a few weeks time – the first time in 6 years.  But it had been cancelled. The reunion is a bit too late for her grandma. My friend broke down several times, wishing
all these were just a nightmare and dreading her future.  She was always close to her grandma especially
this year.  The loss was too hard to
shallow, too sudden, unexpected and shocking for her. I was speechless, searching for the right
words to comfort her.  And I wished I was
at her side, patting her shoulder like I used to do to her whenever she was sad…
I wished I could do something to lessen or take away her pain.

I can’t bring myself to say ‘Condolence’ or ‘It’s God’s will’
to her because I believe she had heard those sentences for the umpteenth time
these few days.  Significantly, her
grandma’s last day is exactly the same date with her mother’s last day several
years ago.  It left me wondering – what are
God’s beautiful plans?  She had to cope
with not one, but two losses that day.

I know her as a strong tough girl.  I know she can survive through this.  We as supportive friends will always support her
on the way.  

These few days are indeed sad days.  Peace to Maria’s grandma.

Yes.  Today, I screamed
in the bathroom.

The significant thing was that it was the first time
for many years.  You see, I usually bath ‘quietly’. I don’t sing during shower and certainly
never shout or scream. (with the exception when I was still young, of course)

I screamed because when I took the towel, a dark brown,
creepy, cold-blooded, sticky creature suddenly appeared.  This monster or also known as LIZARD fell to
the floor and started to climb up one of my naked legs. I gave two short, loud, high-pitched screams
that I never thought I could be producing. Seconds later, I felt ashamed. The
neighbours and my family must have heard me.

I went out, pretending nothing happen.  My family didn’t say anything.  Good.

And I really despised LIZARDS.

I barely slept a wink last night until around 7 am.  As usual, I went to sleep at 3 am. (My
official time to sleep during holiday) Entering my bedroom, I saw my little cousin sprawled over my king-size
bed, leaving me with no space to sleep. (maybe except for people as slim as
Lenny J
) So I did the first thing that came to my mind and the only possible solution.
 I slept on the floor.

It was cold that night. Slepping on the floor made it worse.  At 5 am, my cousin woke up.  I breathe in relief and lay on my bed, hugging
my Snoopy pillow.  Finally.

At 6.30 am, I woke up again.  She forgot to close my bedroom door and I was
at the mercy of the hungry mosquitoes.  Grumbling,
I went down to my living room and took the ‘Ridsect Liquid’.  But the harm was done. Although there were no more mosquitoes, I did
not feel like sleeping anymore.  Tossing around,
I felt asleep only after 7 am, with a headache…

I really dislike people disturb my sleep.  If they woke me up because of something
important or for matters involving me, it is okay.  But if they were doing THEIR OWN THINGS and
woke me up during the ‘noisy’ process, I will get really really irritated.

Luckily, my little cousin is still small.  I comfort myself by telling myself that she
did not intend to irritate me.  Besides, theoretically
she is still in the preoperational level in Piaget’s Theory so I guess she can’t
put herself in other people’s shoes…yet.

And today, I bought her a small cup of yogurt.  She beamed at me.